So first let me lay something out there. I don't like the terms "Feminist" and "Feminism". I find them to be divisive and aggressive, which is great if you want attention but less great if you want to solve problems.
That being said, I also don't believe that we have these huge insurmountable problems in America regarding women's rights and gender equality.
Let's be completely honest: we have come a long way, things ARE getting better, and the forefront of the fight isn't at the male and female divide anymore- the new bleeding edge of civil rights discussion is on gender identities/ sexuality. Gender identities! Something that people actually have to share openly in order to be discriminated against because of. I am sorry, but I really feel like society is in a place where the average Jolene has it way better than she used to- to the point where she isn't even the new hotness in civil rights anymore.
As a female, who identifies as a woman, who likes men, I speak from a place of hope. Hope and also determination that we as a society do not stop our progress toward gender equality.
I am a woman. That should not surprise anyone who might read this, because statistically, females make up more than half for the US population. We always have. We are a numerical majority. The reason I bring this up is because, thanks to seemingly infinite generations of Androcentric thought, our society is used to and complacent about the male normative.
It sounds so harmless, so superficial: Male normative. But it is the last vestige of a time long past when only men were allowed to be educated, to write, to make laws. It is a scar on our language, our art, our mindsets.
Androcentrism is the last line to cross toward gender equality. As long as the resting point for Normal is Male, anything outside of male, anything that deviates from that norm, is at a mental disadvantage. Not male means less than normal. Imperfect. Not as good. Conversely, it holds those born with a mis-matching set of chromosomes to a higher standard- it places an imbalanced level of expectation on them. Equality is a math term, and where there is a greater than or a less than, there is- definitively- no equality.
A male reading this argument might find the idea of Androcentrism absurd, overblown, even. Heck, even some of you ladies out there might feel that way. That is fine, I would rather show than tell, anyway.
All I ask is that you pay attention when you look at the world around you. Who are the lead roles in movies and television series? Who are the supporting characters? When you see advertisements, how are men portrayed vs. women? Is the man in the center of the full page ad with a woman off to the side? Is she in the ad as a window dressing or a trophy or is she the focal point? Who is more appropriately dressed for the weather? Men in ads tend to dress for autumn while women are dressed for summer. Why is that? When you see books and toys targeting children, who are the protagonists? What are they doing? What are the children learning from them?
Who is the little person on the crosswalk sign? Isn't that the same guy on the Men's room door? Do only men cross streets? If all the people in the country crossed the street at once, there would be more lady crossers, and yet- there he is, a little crosswalk man.
I am not pushing some man hating agenda. I love men. They are often excellent humans. They mean well, and the ones who's opinions really matter are good people. I will say that men are often unaware of the constant state of gender bias- they will disbelievingly shake their heads and say "Nooooo, you are exaggerating. So what if the crosswalk guy is a guy? He has to be something! "
The big picture is that the crosswalk guy is a signal- a message boiled down to the simplest possible terms. A single picture with a light behind it. And that single picture, naturally, was drawn in the "default" gender of our society.
The default is male. It just is. And the cross walk man is proof.
I am a woman. When I write or say that phrase, it probably comes with a flood of preconceptions and heuristics that are processed in your brain faster than you could even control.
But what if you could?
My suggestion is a little one. It is a petition to be conscious of your own thoughts.
If we all think: "Hm, interesting that I thought that; is it fair? Is it constructive?" when we encounter gender, then we can become conscious of our own trained in-bias and *hopefully* such a humbling experience can blossom into a rewiring of our brains where we think of each other as humans with unique traits rather than as "others" that may or may not succeed in fulfilling our societally proscribed expectations based on the internal or external location of their sex organs.
Here is a fun(?) exercise!
Rebecca is a woman.
From that statement, can you deduce any of the following:
A) Rebecca is sensitive.
B) Rebecca is bad at math.
C) Rebecca has breasts and/or a uterus.
D) None of the above.
Joshua is a man.
From that statement, can you deduce any of the following:
A) Joshua is physically stronger than most women.
B) Joshua hates shopping.
C) Joshua is the breadwinner in his household.
D) None of the above.
Alex is a person.
From that statement can you deduce any of the following:
A) Alex is a man.
B) Alex is a woman.
C) Alex is a highly intelligent shade of blue.
D) You can't really tell anything about Alex without knowing that person/ shade of blue.
In case you didn't figure it out with my heavy handed tricks, gender doesn't really tell you anything about a person. You have to know the person. So let's try to stop letting our preconceptions of gender roles and the pressure of an androcentric culture control our feelings about other humans.
Let's respect men who are sensitive and warm.
Let's not call women with tough exteriors derogatory names.
Let's make an effort to be neutral in our assumptions and expectations.
Men can raise babies! Women can be power-hungry executives! Men are not inherently rapists and women are not asking to be raped when they dress sexy.
This isn't new copy, y'all.
We have seen it a million times just this year. I am hoping that maybe my perspective will be the one that makes sense to people who haven't quite gotten it yet.
Gender equality is a shared responsibility. Yes, it is an uphill battle, but if we all start by changing our minds, we can continue to change our lives.
Thanks for reading. I hope you have a great day.
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